A Circus Ain't A Love Story, And Now We're Both Sorry
by 27elliee
Summary: My take on what should have happened after Big Topped
1. Chapter 1

Sandra Pullman sat at a hotel bar in Soho, her and Chris were meant to be here together however she had decided to end things with the enigmatic artist; he was lovely but she had realised she had feelings for someone else and didn't want to hurt Chris add that to the issues piling up in her personal life. He had understood, they had had a great couple of weeks but weren't anywhere near the serious relationship stage. Although they did agree that if their paths crossed while they were both unattached, they could see where things could have gone. Or have some casual sex, because their bodies were very compatible. They did agree to share one last dinner together, which was a lovely way to say goodbye.

Chris had left not five minutes ago, she planned to finish her wine at the bar, then get a cab home; she had got one to the bar. The bar was full and she didn't notice someone sitting next to her until she recognised the voice asking for a large straight glass of whiskey. It was her boss, Robert Strickland, she resigned to ignore him by focusing on her currently empty glass.

"Sandra?" Clearly he didn't have the same idea.

"Can I have another glass?" She asked the barmaid before turning to her boss.

"You here to drown your sorrows too?"

"Yeah, Christie gave me the boot."

"I know." He gave her that 'how do you know that' look

"I was at the hospital today, I saw the look she gave you. And she told me." She said trying not to sound pitying, his face fell.

"She told you."

"I spoke to her the other day, after she saw Una at the circus with you."

"Great." He muttered obviously embarrassed.

"Sorry."

"It's alright, anyway why are you still here?"

"I was here first."

"I thought you'd leave, I'd have thought I'm not someone you'd want to be in the same room with right now, let alone be someone you're drinking with."

"First, I'm drinking next to you not with you. Second, after the last few days you're not that high on the people I'm pissed off with. Thirdly, I'd be very glad to do more than just drink with you. And, this is going to be my last glass." She muttered the last part.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I'm going home." Sandra replied as she downed her wine and paid her tab before putting her coat on.

"Sure you don't want me to come along?" He purred after downing his drink.

"Fuck it, yeah sure."

 **A/N what do you think should happen next? What do you want to happen next? I'm open to any suggestions.**


	2. Uh Oh

Sandra awoke naked lying face down on her bed with Robert lazily tracing patterns on her back. Remembering the night before, as they stood on the street waiting for a taxi to come past when Sandra started shivering from the cold london night.

"Here." Robert said as he placed his blazer around her shoulders, she smiled at the gentlemanly gesture.

"Bit cliche" she smirked.

"Can't go far wrong with the classics, can we?"

"Touché" she smiled into her pillow at the thought of their banter, her smile turned sad as she remembered their past, their end and the mess she'd created once again but could help but sigh at the wonderful feeling of waking up next to him once again. She lazily smiled then became stiff with shock when she realised he wasn't just tracing mindless patterns on her back, he was writing 'I Love You' over and over and over again.

"Morning." He whispered to her as she stretched before rolling onto her back, her sleepy eyes meeting his.

"Morning." she purred

"I've missed this, waking up next to you."

"It was only a couple of times."

"Yeah but they were breathtaking." He smiled, as he leant over her stroking her hair lightly before pressing their foreheads together breathing in the ambrosial scent of the true love of his life.

"Robert don't." She pleaded, knowing his train of thought just from the look of pure bliss on his face.

"Don't What?" He retorted.

"Robert, please. Don't start all this." She begged tears in her eyes, her face red.

"All this what, Sandra?" His articulation perfect, his red wet eyes and cheeks betraying his grief.

"I.. I can't."

"You can't what, Sandra?"

"I can't do this. Not again."

"I just want to try again." He pleaded as more tears rolled down his face, he couldn't be broken. Not again.

"Because last time it worked out so well." She snarked.

"Last time I was married."

"This time you're my boss."

"You've slept with your bosses before." He realised that probably wasn't the best thing to say as the last word fell from his lips. He was desperate.

"So? They're not you."

"So, what's wrong with me." His voice quivering, he couldn't be rejected. Not again. Definitely not by her.

"You're.. y... you're ...you're you." She tried to explain, she had to make him understand.

"I never stopped loving you, I always have, I always will no matter what. Please, Sandra give us a chance."

"I..."

"Why can't you love me."


	3. Why Can't You Love Me

"Why can't you love me."

That sentence, that one single sentence, broke her. Her, the ice queen that is Sandra Pullman. She took a chance last night, in bringing him home with her again, now she was about to take another one. Placing her hand flat on his chest, feeling his heart beat for her, she made her confession.

"I... I do love you. More than I should. More than I've ever loved anyone in my life and that's really scary. I fell... I fell in love with you back then when we were together, and I never stopped. Every time I see you it kills me, I thought it couldn't get worse after you became my boss; and I had to be there seeing you every day but not be able to tell you. Then you got divorced, and you asked me out. You kept asking me out, I kept turning you down because I was scared to get hurt again. We were only sleeping together for a month, when we stopped it hurt so much. I'm so scared, Robert." Her tears were flowing as free as her confession had.

"Last time, we ended because we were married to our jobs and I had a wife." He started

"We're still married to our jobs." She replied with a small smirk, without the tears.

"I'd rather be married to you." He took her hand.

"I'd rather we were married too." She looked down at their entwined hands as she confessed this, as though it were something to be ashamed of.

"Really?" He was surprised at another confession.

"I think so. You know how much I love you. I didn't know you loved me the same." She replied.

"Sandra, back then we were casual sex and pillow talk." He started

"Robert, right now we're naked in bed talking after a night of casual sex." She interrupted

"Yes, but then we weren't good at communicating our feelings, we were hiding them, you as you said were an ice queen and I was married. Now we are married to our jobs but I want to give us a real chance to be together forever. We work together, we each understand the others jobs so being married to work isn't as bad, and more importantly we love each other. Please Sandra, give us a chance." He pleaded, this time without the tears.

"Okay." With that one word, that was it. They were a couple in love pledging their life to the other. The kiss that followed was passionate, leading to more.

A few minutes later the sweet kiss of reunion was rudely interrupted by the grating voice of a BBC radio presenter going on about taxes, Sandra's sodding alarm had gone off.

"It's half five."

"Bloody hell Sandra."

"What?"

"You should have told me you were a rooster before I fell in love with you."

"Sucks to be you." She grinned

"It's funny you should mention that." He leered at her, his hand making its way up her waist to her breasts before pulling her on top of him, kissing her. Their bonding was frantic, with screams of scratched backs.

"Shit it's gone half seven!" Sandra shouted as she jumped out of bed.

"You're lucky, you can turn up in jeans. I need to be in uniform today, I've got to go home and shower and..." He rants.

"And your car is at your house." She pointed out.

"Bollocks." He blushed before looking down at his naked form before bringing the duvet over his manhood.

"We could always just shower together, I'll drop you at your house so you can change & drive there separately." She suggested biting her bottom lip.

"Why not together?" She barely heard his question, but the hurt was all over his face. It was the same expression he had yesterday when Christie left him at the hospital.

"Because I don't want the boys to find out we're together from the station gossip chain, also it would be best we tell your bosses first before we're dragged into an office. I am not ashamed of you, Robert." She insisted before turning around then making her way into the en suite.

It was barely eight o'clock when Sandra dropped Robert off at his house they bade farewell with a kiss, neither knowing what the day would bring but, not really caring when they'd come home to the other that night.


	4. I Should've Stayed in Bed

It was eleven in the morning, Sandra was in her office having emailed Strickland her report on the death of Bert Dignam, she went into the main office area to see 'her boys' putting a new case up on the board. The Wednesday morning had been very forced, full of awkward silences and snatched looks. Honestly, the only normal part of the day was the smell of coffee and bacon butties. The boys weren't even bickering over anything, they were all too tense. Especially Brian. She knew he was worried about her and Jack, he hated conflict it brought change which caused him to have panic attacks due to his anxiety.

"Brian." She commanded as Brian stood near the board waiting to explain their new case, Gerry and Jack making tea.

"Right. Allison Alwyn died 13th December 1989 shot, gunshot to the heart in her apartment, her ex boyfriend one Adam Wiles was suspected of her murder but he had an alibi; he was with one Kathryn Hudson at her home at the time of the killing."

"Was anyone else in the frame for the murder?" Sandra questioned.

"No. She was a well liked music teacher from Kensington, parents in the city, her husband was in New York on business at the time of the murder."

"Okay. What puts this at the top of the pile?"

"Kathryn Hudson, the woman who provided the alibi was murdered with a single shot, gunshot to the heart. Adam Wiles was convicted of her murder three months ago, he plead guilty to the murder of Kathryn but Allison wasn't mentioned. He's in Pentonville."

"Right. Brian, you and Jack visit mr Wiles question him again. Gerry, you and me can visit the husband, Joe. Are the parents still alive?"

"Yes. They live near the husband." Brian confirmed.

"Okay, we'll visit them after." They were about to leave when Robert Strickland strode into the room.

"New case?"

"Yeah, woman murdered suspected by her ex boyfriend. He was convicted of the murder of Kathryn Hudson a few months ago, it was Kathryn who provided his alibi for the murder of his ex."

"Okay, let me know if you need anything." He announced before he left, his phone in hand.

As her and Gerry sat the latter's car Sandra's phone bleeped indicating a text.

"I love you." She stopped walking before she grinned down at her phone the tingly feeling in her stomach, the warmth in her chest, it was wonderful.

"Sandra..." Gerry started

"Do you want to talk about it? You, Jack and your dad."

"No." Gerry nodded, dropping the subject.

Jack entered the empty UCOS office alone, he looked at Sandra's empty office he wish he had lied, he wish he had just told her that her father was under suspicion but jack didn't think he did anything illegal. But he couldn't, not anymore. He loved her. Sandra was like his daughter, sometimes he pretended she was. He could not lie to her. When he was in his garden with his Mary, he'd refer to Sandra as 'our girl'. After their fourth miscarriage in 1972 him and his Mary decided for Jack to have a vasectomy, they couldn't take another loss. Now, he was feeling like he was losing someone precious all over again. He could feel his face heating up with sadness, if his thoughts carried on the way they were he was sure to be in tears within minutes. He needed to pull himself together somehow before the rest of the team arrived. Brian was only in the loo, Gerry had texted saying him along with Sandra were on their way back to the office. His saving grace happened when the UCOS office door opened, with Robert Strickland marching in like a solider on a mission, his brow furrowed, back straight, lips pursed.

"Jack, I was hoping to get you alone." The younger man began, his voice not betraying his nerves.

"Sir?"

"Could we use Sandra's office for a minute?" He requested gesturing at the closed door.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jack questioned as the two men stood awkwardly in an office belonging to neither of them.

"Sandra. I know something has happened between the two of you." The younger man began before Jack's disgusted expression stopped him.

"I know nothing like _that_ has happened with you both, no. I meant you two seem quite the opposite, like you aren't getting along."

"Oh right. Well, sir I don't really know what your point is?" Jack replied glad The younger man didn't think he was sleeping with Sandra. That seemed plainly disgusting. He was now wondering firstly how Strickland knew him and Sandra weren't getting along and secondly what he expected them to do about it.

"Ah, Sandra's here." Strickland stated before popping his head out of the office door.

"Sandra, can you come in here, please?" Strickland requested, trying not to grin at the sight of the love of his life. It had obviously been raining, Sandra's choice of white blouse was quite alluring even more so now it was nearly see through, along with her slightly messy mascara / eyeliner she looked wild.

"Of course, sir." She almost purred. Her grin faltering at the sight of Jack in her office. She didn't close the office door, she wanted an easy escape.

"Right. You four are the best bloody team I've got, I'm not having half that at odds with each other especially since part of it was my fault for making a crack about your dad." He began to rant.

"Robert," Sandra interrupted

"No, Sandra. Let me take the responsibility for being a twat. Now, you and Jack are both going to sit in this office and talk. I'm sure Brian and Gerry can occupy themselves on their computers while keeping an eye on you both, to make sure you don't kill each other. But I want this as resolved as possible. I know that that's probably easier said than done, however, if you can at least reach an agreement you both can live with. Just talk to each other, I'll be back in a few hours." Strickland concluded before leaving Sandra's office, closing the door behind him to see Gerry and Brian giving him approving grins.


End file.
